How to Comfort Someone Who Lost a Loved One

how to help someone who lost a loved one

Knowing what to say or do when someone you care about is grieving following a loss can be challenging. Intense and painful emotions like depression, wrath, remorse, and profound sadness plague the ones who are still here. Since the severe pain and challenging emotions can make individuals uncomfortable about offering help, they frequently also feel isolated and alone in their mourning. 

You could be worried about interfering, saying the wrong thing, or aggravating your loved one during this trying time. Or perhaps you feel helpless to improve the situation. It makes sense that way. But don't let your discomfort stop you from offering support to a mourning person. Your loved one needs your help right now more than ever.

You don't have to know the answers, be able to offer guidance, or say and act in all the proper ways. Being there is the most crucial thing you can do for someone who is grieving. Your loved one will be able to deal with the pain and gradually start to recover with your encouragement and tender presence. 

Grieving can be done in any way—right or wrong.

Grief does not necessarily go through logical, sequential stages. It can be an unpredictable emotional roller coaster with highs, lows, and disappointments. Avoid telling your loved ones what they "should" be feeling or doing because everyone grieves differently.

Extreme emotions and behaviors can accompany grief. Guilt, rage, despair, and terror are frequently experienced emotions. A person in grief may shout to the sky, think endlessly about the deceased, strike out at family members, or sob unceasingly. Your close relative or friend needs affirmation that their feelings are normal. Don't criticize them or take their expressions of grief personally. 

Grieving has no prescribed length of time. Many people need 18 to 24 months to heal following a loss, however, different people's periods of mourning may be longer or shorter. Don't make your loved ones feel like they've been in mourning for too long or put pressure on them to move on. The healing process may even be slowed by this.

Even though many of us worry about what to say to someone who is grieving, listening is actually more crucial. When the name of the deceased person is spoken, many well-intentioned people choose to either avoid discussing the death or shift the subject. Or, realizing there is nothing they can do to help, they strive to shun the mourning individual completely. 

However, the grieving must feel that their loss is understood, that it is not too painful to discuss, and that their loved one won't be forgotten. On one day, they might want to cry on your shoulder; on another, they might prefer to vent, sit quietly, or reminisce. You can learn from the mourning person by being there and respectfully listening to them.

Being present and attentive to them can be a tremendous source of solace and healing  during greiving

Recognize the predicament. For instance, you could simply remark, "I heard that your father passed away." By referring to the deceased as having "died," you'll convey that you're more willing to discuss the bereaved person's true feelings.

If you're struggling to help someone with grief and loss, or you yourself personally are, free to reach out to Rock Bottom Hope. We are always here to help.